Things that Suck about Bad Leaders/Organizations!

[sparkie]

Ummm, I am deciding what I want to start w/:

Things that suck about bad leaders/leadership/bad organizations.


I'll start it off gently..................

*Wasting alot of time & energy "discussing" the proper or improper use of a common, harmless word to use for a fund rasier. :chatter:

*Cult-like egomaniac leaders :evil:

*Media chasing, Photo op'ing leaders :rotate:

*Me, me, me leadership :angel:

* Groups & leaders who can not learn to work together towards a common goal. :mad:

*_____________________________(please fill in)

[NicoMoon]

Hi Pam,

Thanks for starting the thread. I'd like to invite anyone who came home from the Winn-Dixie experience feeling emotionally battered to post here. This thread in particular will be closely monitored for any abuse. I don't know if the answer is to ban abusers or delete their posts though, because in my experience, it's more gratifying and producitve to be able to identify it and confront the abusers than it is to ban them.

In control-freak situations, like the one Mark and Shannon set up at W/D with by their unilateral claim to authority, abuse of that authority, and then failure to function even as good leaders, the line between abuse and bitching about the abuse is very clear. Well, philosophically, ethically, and morally it's clear anyway. I know that emotionally it can easily get blurred, but we're not going to let that happen here.

Let's make it real simple. There is a HUGE difference between someone who has demanded and been granted a role of authority, or someone acting on their behalf telling someone to f*** off, and someone who has no benefit of authority, falsely achieved or otherwise doing the same. The former is abuse, the latter is a valid and healthy response to abuse.

A true, sincere, and good leader has more creative and productive ways to handle stress and controversy than to become a bully for the cause.

So, that's why I'm inviting anyone who needs to bitch it out to come right on in and do just that. Being a third party observer, and quite experienced with the control freak/abuse dynamic, I'll be happy to moderate this thread and call a spade a spade.

[NicoMoon]

Ummm, I am deciding what I want to start w/:

Things that suck about bad leaders/leadership/bad organizations.


I'll start it off gently..................

*Wasting alot of time & energy "discussing" the proper or improper use of a common, harmless word to use for a fund rasier. :chatter:

Yep, that's counter-productive and frustrating, and can blossom into abuse when it blossoms into an edict on the demanded authority of some goofball with no ability to handle authority appropriately, for sure.

*Cult-like egomaniac leaders :evil:

Those being the above, people who abuse authority, like Mark and Shannon.

*Media chasing photo op'in leaders

It that's all they do, and why they're in it, yes. A good, sincere, and effective leader keeps the need for positive publicity in perspective.


*Me, me, me leadership :angel:


Same as "Cult-like egomaniac leaders" :D

* Groups & leaders who can not learn to work together towards a common goal. :mad:


What happens under the control of "Cult-like egomaniac leaders" every time, without fail, and why we have to learn to identify bad leadership and unwarranted claims to authority and respond quickly and appropriately if we're ever to get anything accomplished, large or small.

*_____________________________(please fill in)

My fill in: The good, hard working, sincere, cooperative, and unsuspecting always get screwed when cult-like egomaniacal leaders are left unidentified, unchecked, and in positions of power.

The moral of the story: Learn to identify the symptoms of bad leadership and false or unwarranted claims of authority, isolate and marginalize a**holes immediately. Handle them like they have an insidious contagious disease because they do. Put them in a big cardboard box, tape it up, and write "WARNING........TOXIC MATERIALS" all over it, and ship them back where they came from. Get back to work.

[sparkie]

Nico,

You sound very knowledgeable about this subject. Thank you for reaching out to assist the volunteer, whether suffering or not.

I know from personal experiences that is is very healthy and healing to speak out about mistreatment in a safe envirnoment. Communication is the key.

And for a person to learn they are not alone is invaluable. Speaking out can validate the feelings & perceptions of what they thought was happening. To learn that they were not "crazy" to think/feel whatever it was. :spineyes:

Crying sometimes helps too. I was once told that UNshed tears can turn to pioson on the inside! And, crying is NOT a weakness but a needed release...an internal cleansing of the body & soul. Knowing & believing all that, I still struggle to cry?? :bawling:

Thanks for volunteering to moderate these needed threads!

Pam aka Sparkie aka FixerPamLW

[NicoMoon]

Nico,

You sound very knowledgeable about this subject. Thank you for reaching out to assist the volunteer, whether suffering or not.


Yes, I've been around the block a few times, so I do understand the situation.

I have much respect and gratitude for those hard working, get down and dirty heroic volunteers who sacrificed their time and comforts in aide of the animals of NO, so I don't need to be thanked for anything, but thanks for thanking me!! :D


I know from personal experiences that is is very healthy and healing to speak out about mistreatment in a safe envirnoment. Communication is the key.


Absolutely so. It's not only good for those who had the experience, but for others who are interested and reading along. We all learn a lot about ourselves from these situations, because we all face them all the time.

And for a person to learn they are not alone is invaluable. Speaking out can validate the feelings & perceptions of what they thought was happening. To learn that they were not "crazy" to think/feel whatever it was. :spineyes:

No, and this is what abusers do, they cause sincere people to feel confused and off base. They also get people in-fighting and abusing each other back and forth, the old "divide and conquer" strategy.

I don't know why, but some people just seem to be born with the understanding of how to manipulate and abuse others, and have no conscience about it whatsoever. And I think that's a big part of the problem, because decent, honest people can't imagine anyone being like that, so we very often fail to miss the symptoms when we encounter someone who is talking a good game.


Crying sometimes helps too. I was once told that UNshed tears can turn to pioson on the inside! And, crying is NOT a weakness but a needed release...an internal cleansing of the body & soul. Knowing & believing all that, I still struggle to cry?? :bawling:


You know, I think it's sometimes much harder to cry about what we really need to cry about, than it is to pretend we're fine. Maybe that's why people love tear jerker movies and books so much, I don't know. What I do know is that in order to feel well, we have to first admit that we don't feel well and why. Abusers will always try to convince us that our feelings are silly or that we're weak or emotionally unstable for having them. We abuse ourselves when we do the same.

Thanks for volunteering to moderate these needed threads!

Pam aka Sparkie aka FixerPamLW

If it does some good, I'll be the grateful one!!!

Thank you, Pam!!

Nico

[sparkie]

stupid rules about posting at message boards/forums!!

[sparkie]

I just started a couple threads in Consumer Law on the topic of Bully Bosses. Much in common for cult leaders too. Thread link: http://livewire.fm/forums/showthread.php?t=868


The Workplace Bullying & Trauma Institute

"You Know You Are Bullied At Work When ...

[experiences outside work]


-you feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week

-your frustrated family demands that you to stop obsessing about work at home

-your doctor asks what could be causing your skyrocketing blood pressure and recent health problems, and tells you to change jobs

-you feel too ashamed of being controlled by another person at work to tell your spouse or partner

-all your paid time off is used for "mental health breaks" from the misery

-days off are spent exhausted and lifeless, your desire to do anything is gone

-your favorite activities and fun with family are no longer appealing

-you begin to believe that you provoked the workplace cruelty
[experiences at work]

-you attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills but that work is never good enough for the boss

-surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation

-everything your tormenter does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working a personal agenda that undermines the employer's legitimate business interests

-others at work have been told to stop working, talking or socializing with you

-you constantly feel agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen

-no matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference

-people feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back

-HR tells you that your harassment isn't illegal, that you have to "work it out between yourselves"

-you finally, firmly confront your tormentor to stop the abusive conduct, you are accused of harassment

-you are shocked when accused of incompetence despite a history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job

-everyone -- co-workers, senior bosses, HR -- agrees (in person and orally) that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (and deny saying what they said later when asked to support you)

-your request to transfer to an open position under another boss is mysteriously denied"

Gary Namie, Ph.D.

Link: http://<b>http://www.bullyinginstit...owwhen.html</b>

[sparkie]

Superior attitude