Loss of a friend

[tater03]

I just wanted to post this because I just recently lost a friend to breast cancer. She had turned 30 years old two weeks before she passed away. She had fought the disease for a little over six months but it had spread to her lungs. She left behind a husband and two young sons. The reason I am posting this is because I worked with this person for over five years. Then we both ended up quitting our jobs. We stayed in contact for awhile and then lost touch for about the last 10 months. I actually found out about her death from my son who was in her youngest sons class this year. I just feel so bad because we were such good friends and I got involved in my day to day life with raising my kids and just everyday things that I wish now I had made more of an effort to keep in contact. I wish I had just picked up the phone and given her a call. Now it is to late. I am now helping her husband and sister plan a benefit in her honer. It's the least I feel I can do. I just feel so guilty that we were such good friends and I did not even know she had cancer. I guess it just go to show you don't always put off what you can do today because tomorrow is not gaurenteed.

[LightHeart]

Tater, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Being one that deals with guilt on a regular basis due to not seeing my father when I knew he was dying I know how you feel. Please don't beat your self up over this. There is so much that you can do for the Cancer Society that will bring you much peace of mind and heart.

[palefrost]

((hugs)) tater. If you had known. Dont regret what you cant change. Its great you are helping create awareness of a serious health issue for woman. Maybe someone on this board will now head to the doctor or get a breast examine. For every negative there is a positive. Its the ying and yang of life. :)

[tater03]

Thank you guys for the nice thoughts. I know I have learned so many lessons from this. I only hope she knows that I miss her very much and am keeping in contact with her husband and two sons. Thanks again and you guys have a great day.

[NicoMoon]

Thank you for sharing your story tater. Even though it's a sad one, it's also very touching and meaningful.

You are a good friend for being there for her family. I'm sure that being a comfort to them is the most meaningful way for you to express your friendship and love for her.

I'm likely a bit older than you, so I've lost more than a few loved ones over the years. I don't think we ever feel that we did enough or said all that we'd wished we had. That's part of the sadness that comes with death, I suppose. I take comfort in thinking that our loved ones were glad for all the good times. I'm sure the knowledge of your friendship provided your friend with many happy thoughts, tater!

I offer my sincere condolences for your loss.

[hokeshel]

My mom had breast cancer twice, two of her three sister also had it twice. They joke around about not having breasts and I am glad they have such a great attitude about it. I am happy that they are still alive of course but, I know the last bout with my mom was very frightening. i am lucky she is aournd, sorry for your loss.

[eldragon]

I echoe the sentiments on this thread, OP, don't burden yourself with guilt. I too have lost friends to cancer, AIDS and accidents. As you said :you were busy with your life. That happens.

Breast cancer is on the rise. They now recommend mammograms for women over 30, instead of 40.

[ButtrflyDreams]

That's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I agree that you shouldn't burden yourself with guilt.

[pinkribbon]

I'm so sorry about your loss.

I'm a breast cancer survivor, in my mid-30s, and one thing I worried about the most while I was going through treatment was my family -- husband and two young sons -- should something happen to me and the cancer win. So I say this from that point of view: I think being there for her family now, after she's gone? I think that is fantastic and probably something they need very much now. So keep on doing that!

And please don't feel guilty about not knowing about her cancer. Some women with cancer feel ashamed and so maybe she was one who didn't want anyone to know about it until it was too late, at which time she just wanted to spend her last days with her family.

[womanistic]

Wow, that is sad. I don't think you should feel guilty though, you haven't done her anything wrong. Unfortunately people have so much to worry about that we end up forgetting the most important things in life such as friends. Condolence to you. I will call all my friends now.

[teenwire]

I am ver sorry for your loss. Breast cancer is really a very dreaded disease nowadays, and until the present the cure was still unknown. I wish the cure for this disease be discovered so we can save more ladies, that are moms to other children of the world. I can't imagine not having my mom while growing up.